When a survivor’s childhood experiences become the subject of a political attack, the conversation reaches far beyond the person being targeted. Other survivors are listening to what is said, what is questioned, and what the public is willing to accept.
The Vivek Ramaswamy campaign’s ad featuring Dr. Amy Acton’s estranged mother prompted this episode of Becoming Real with Dr. Lori. After I spoke out on social media, the response made clear how deeply this conversation was affecting people.
I invited Donisha Greene, Senior Director of Strategic Communication at Cleveland Rape Crisis Center, to talk about sexual assault survivors’ fear of not being believed, the realities of childhood sexual abuse, and how we can offer support that respects a survivor’s choices.
Why sexual assault survivors may wait to tell someone
“Why didn’t you tell?” can sound like a straightforward question. It can also overlook what speaking up might cost.
Donisha discusses the complicated family relationships and practical consequences that can shape a survivor’s decision to disclose. Speaking up may mean risking relationships or financial support. Someone may anticipate disbelief or have no supportive environment to turn to.
As she says in our conversation, “Sometimes it’s about what a person stands to lose.”
We explore why understanding those circumstances matters—and why the timing of a disclosure should not become another reason to question or shame someone.
How public disbelief affects other survivors
A political ad or public controversy does not exist in isolation. Donisha explains how hearing survivors’ experiences questioned can bring back feelings connected to abuse that happened years or decades earlier.
For someone who is already uncertain about seeking support, the public response can add to their hesitation. How we talk about sexual violence matters to people whose stories we may never hear.
We also discuss the gap between condemning a harmful message and being willing to challenge it when the person responsible is someone we admire or support. Donisha brings the conversation back to the dignity of every survivor, regardless of political affiliation.
Trauma does not disqualify someone from leadership
Another message we examine is the suggestion that someone who has experienced trauma—or sought help for it—is less capable of leading, serving, or making sound decisions.
Donisha challenges the expectation that survivors must demonstrate a perfect version of healing before being considered credible or capable. Survivors are parents, professionals, healthcare providers, and community leaders. Seeking therapy or other support does not erase their intelligence, experience, or abilities.
This is an essential part of our conversation: people deserve access to help without having that decision used to diminish them.
What happens when you contact a rape crisis center?
Reaching out can feel difficult when you do not know what will happen next.
Donisha explains that support begins with listening: What do you need? What concerns do you have? What do you feel comfortable discussing?
We talk about counseling, advocacy, connections to resources, and the importance of explaining confidentiality and any applicable reporting obligations. The goal is to help survivors understand their options and have a voice in their next steps.
You do not need to arrive with a complete account of what happened or a decision about reporting. As Donisha explains, you can begin by saying, “something happened to me, and I need someone to talk to.”
Healing does not require a public story
One of the most reassuring messages in this episode is that disclosure is a choice. Sharing may bring relief or connection for some people. For others, the emotional and practical consequences need careful consideration.
Our conversation centers on helping survivors explore what they need, rather than pressuring them to share. There is room for support that respects their circumstances and decisions.
Listen to this episode of Becoming Real with Dr. Lori for the full conversation with Donisha Greene. Share it with someone who wants to better understand survivors’ experiences or offer more thoughtful support.
Support for survivors and their loved ones
Cleveland Rape Crisis Center offers a free, confidential, 24/7 crisis and support hotline for survivors of sexual violence and their loved ones.
- Call or text 216-619-6192.
- Visit Cleveland Rape Crisis Center’s hotline and chat page for online support and information.
- Learn more about the organization at clevelandrapecrisis.org.
For more conversations about mental health, relationships, and authentic living, follow Becoming Real with Dr. Lori and join my email community at drloristevic.com.
