Where You Go, I Go: Joy and Sadness Together
Okay, so we had a Barbie-themed bridal shower for my niece. Yes, there were a lot of pink clothes, pink flowers, beautiful table settings, a stunning cake, and a well-appointed bar and food table. The swimming pool even had a floating speaker playing Barbie music, and the ice cream truck provided many pink treats. It was all simply Barbie beautiful—just as my niece wanted!
And then, out of nowhere, the sky opened, and it began to pour. The guests ran inside for cover and crowded by the door, hoping the rain would end. My sister and I were running, trying to save what we could of the bar area, as the fruit and the sugar packets were floating in a puddle. I felt terrible—this was different from how the magical Barbie shower was supposed to go.
Just then, I turned to see my niece Domi and her fiancé Neal jumping into the pool in their finest Barbie outfits. The rain kept pouring, and they kept laughing.
I looked at my sister (mother of the bride) and quickly dismissed my fleeting thoughts of my freshly colored hair, my shrinkable sequins dress, and my non-waterproof mascara. We grabbed each other’s hands and went into the pool. Our guests seemed stunned, but folks of all ages and dress styles joined us in the pool within a few minutes.
If the guests had any thoughts about the fact that none of them had a change of clothes, there didn’t appear to be towels, or that many had a long drive ahead of them, they must have dismissed them for a moment of impulsive joy. They jumped into the pool one by one, sometimes two by two.
That moment of pure, unfiltered happiness reminded me just how important it is to embrace joy whenever possible.
Joy and Sadness Together
As adults, we often hide or dilute our joy. We’re afraid of looking silly or, even worse, we superstitiously believe that if we get so happy, the next shoe will drop. You know, as if something terrible is waiting around the corner to remind us of the sadness, anxiety, and fear that exists in this world. It’s a way of bracing ourselves for disappointment, as if hiding joy will shield us from impending sadness. This belief leads us to suppress our happiness, thinking that we can avoid the jinx of future misfortune.
But here’s the thing: joy isn’t about pretending sadness or anxiety doesn’t exist. It’s about accepting that the two emotions are walking together. Like the Disney movie Inside Out 2 line, Joy says to sadness, “Yeah, of course I’ll go with you, where you go, I go.”
Joy sustains us and gives us the strength to face tough times, while sadness can give depth and meaning to our experiences, making moments of joy even more precious. By embracing joy, we not only feel better at the moment but also set ourselves up for better mental and emotional health in the future.
So, the next time you find yourself holding back joy for fear of feeling foolish or feeling like you are tempting fate, waiting for the next shoe to drop, don’t overthink the moment.
Here are a few suggestions for cultivating more joy in your life:
1. Surround Yourself with People Who Embrace All Emotions
Spend time with those who know how to embrace joy and bring it into their world—not the fake “be positive all the time” types, but those who accept and honor all emotions, including joy and sadness.
Children and older folks often understand the assignment the best, as they tend to live more authentically in the moment and know how to embrace the full spectrum of emotions. Make sure you spend time with them – it will rub off on you.
2 . Embrace Spontaneity
Sometimes, the best moments of joy come from spur-of-the-moment decisions. Don’t be afraid to let go and have fun. I promise avoiding it won’t protect you from the other shoe falling. It will simply rob you of –well, moments of joy!
3. Pay Attention to Life
Joy is all around us if we pay attention. Look for it, take a moment, and enjoy the experiences that you can savor and enjoy. These fleeting moments of recognized joy help train our brains to continue noticing and appreciating life’s good things.
Remember, life is full of opportunities for joy. They’re all around us; we need to see them, embrace them, and sometimes even create them. Joy is our emotional oxygen for the next round of stress, worry, and sadness. So next time you feel happiness bubbling up, don’t hold back. Let it shine, knowing that joy and sadness can walk hand in hand, making life satisfying and more meaningful.
