So, Madonna, Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Abraham Lincoln, and I walk into a bar. Why are we hanging out together? Because we are all middle children.
Of course, when we walked in, Obama smoothed over a bar fight, Lincoln gave an epic speech about unity, Gates calculated the bar tab, Madonna reinvented happy hour, and then there was me.
Well, I probably made sure everyone felt heard, mediated an argument over who got the last fry, and then spent 10 minutes overthinking my drink order.
Because that’s what middle kids do, we don’t just exist in the background—we run the show from the middle. We’re the connectors, the problem-solvers, the ones who learned early in life how to navigate the chaos.
But let’s be real—it’s not all diplomacy and world-changing. Being a middle child can also mean chronic over-apologizing, making every decision a full-blown ethical debate, and somehow getting blamed when the Wi-Fi goes out.
It’s a weird space to live in, but I would argue the middle is where the good stuff happens. It’s where people actually listen to both sides, where balance beats burnout, and where sustainable success is built—not just chased.
It’s the place where our health and our relationships are made strong.
And that’s exactly why I believe in The Middle Way. Because in a world that’s constantly pulling us toward extremes—hustle or quit, speak up or stay silent, push through or burn out—there has to be a better way.
And I think middle kids figured it out first. 😏
The Middle Way: Finding Strength in Balance
As a middle child, I have always lived in the middle. It’s where I feel at home—connecting people, bridging ideas, seeing both sides and finding the space where understanding and action meet. The Middle Way isn’t just a philosophy I admire; it’s how I move through the world. It’s where I thrive.
But lately, I’ve felt untethered, pulled toward extremes—emotionally, mentally, even physically. Maybe it’s the weight of personal loss, the shifts in my health, or the relentless noise of a world that demands we pick a side, get louder, or disengage completely. Whatever the reason, I’ve felt adrift, struggling to find my way back to the middle.
And here’s what I know: The middle isn’t about neutrality. It isn’t about silence. And it sure as hell isn’t about passivity.
The Middle Way Is Not Weakness—It’s Strength
The Buddha’s Middle Way teaches that neither extreme—indulgence nor deprivation, outrage nor apathy—leads to peace. More than that, it warns us about clinging to the ego, the part of us that demands validation, control, or superiority. Neuroscience backs this up: when we get caught in cycles of comparison, fear, or reactivity, our brain’s stress response hijacks us, keeping us stuck in fight-or-flight mode.
The Middle Way challenges us to break free—not by ignoring the world, but by engaging with clarity and balance.
I know this truth. I teach it. I believe in it. But if I’m honest, I’ve struggled to live it lately.
Every time I say I can’t believe how much hate, division, and greed there is in the world, I catch myself. And then I take a deep breath—something I’ve been doing a lot of lately—and I remember.
I remember history.
I remember my lived experience.
I remember what’s always been true:
While greed and corruption may set the tone, write the policies, and grab the headlines, it’s always –always been humans helping humans that make real change. It’s the people who aren’t chasing the spotlight—the quiet helpers, the steady bridge-builders, the ones showing up for each other in small, unseen ways—who are holding the world together.
This is the Middle Way in action.
Not disengagement.
Not exhaustion or outrage.
But grounded, passionate commitment.
Why Women Are Wired for the Middle Way
Neuroscience tells us that women aren’t just naturally inclined toward balance—we are biologically wired for it.
The Female Brain Is Built for Connection & Adaptability
- Women have a larger anterior cingulate cortex (which, of course, is something to brag about), the part of the brain responsible for decision-making, weighing consequences, and balancing multiple perspectives. This makes women uniquely skilled at bridging ideas, resolving conflict, and seeking sustainable solutions—qualities that define the Middle Way.
- The female brain has stronger neural pathways for emotional regulation and empathy, making women more adept at collaboration rather than competition.
Oxytocin: The Connection & Resilience Hormone
- Women produce higher levels of oxytocin, sometimes called the “bonding hormone,” which enhances trust, cooperation, and the ability to create community.
- Oxytocin counteracts stress hormones like cortisol, which means women naturally seek balance and connection when faced with challenges—another hallmark of the Middle Way.
Why Extremes Burn Women Out Faster
- Studies show that women’s brains respond more intensely to chronic stress, meaning that constant reactivity—whether through burnout or outrage—depletes us faster.
- When we push too hard in one direction (overwork, over-giving, over-functioning), our nervous system goes into survival mode, shutting down creativity, connection, and clarity.
The takeaway?
Women don’t just prefer the middle—we thrive in it. It’s where our biology, our wisdom, and our natural strengths align.
The Middle Way isn’t just about philosophy. It’s about how we lead, how we care for ourselves, and how we create a sustainable impact in the world.
Finding My Middle Way People
I know I’m not the only one searching for this space—the people who don’t fit in the extremes, who care deeply but don’t want to be consumed by the noise and distracted from the REAL work, who are committed to showing up for others in ways big and small.
I know I’m not the only one trying to find my way back.
That’s why I want to hear from you.
What do you need?
What’s missing?
Where do you feel disconnected?
So, I’m gathering a focus group of like-hearted women to discuss what we truly need—in our health and the healthcare system, our businesses, our relationships, and everything in between.
This isn’t a lecture or another meeting. It’s a one-hour online interactive conversation to explore what’s missing—what we need to stay connected, educated, and empowered.
Let’s talk about it so we can build it together.
📩 Sign up here to be part of the conversation!
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