I’ve been feeling it too—the sadness, the anger, the fear, all of it.
Just like so many of you, I’ve been caught in that whirlwind of emotions that has left me feeling drained, uncertain and unmotivated–struggling with thoughts like “What is the point in trying to do the right thing when so many are rewarded for breaking the law, lying, cheating and hurting others” “why even try anymore” How can we ever look our children and grandchildren in the eye and try to teach them values of integrity and honesty when our leaders model something different?”
It’s part of my heartbreak and anger.
And then, this morning, I woke up with a surprising sense of energy, boldness, and, dare I say, hope. At first, I thought maybe I had accidentally grabbed the pot with caffeinated coffee.
But then I understood that It was coming from this realization: bullies and haters actually want us to quit, to doubt ourselves. And that realization hit hard. It reminded me that so often, our fear isn’t just our own; it’s planted and fueled by those who gain from our shrinking. For me, that’s become fuel—the clarity that every time we stand tall, we reclaim the power they want to take.
The Power and Pitfalls of Fear
Fear is a powerful, deep, protective force. It’s instinctive and wired into our survival, but like many things, it can be exploited.
Think about what happens when our fear gets twisted and shaped by voices outside of us, telling us what to be afraid of and who to blame. This is how we get emotionally hijacked. Our natural, protective fear transforms into chronic anxiety, eroding our confidence until self-doubt settles in, and we begin to retreat, shrink, and even hide parts of who we are.
Bullies and haters know this dynamic well. They thrive on triggering our fear, hoping to make us feel small and unsure. They want us to question ourselves, to feel as though our voices don’t matter. Our hesitation and shrinking are satisfying for them, fueling their own sense of control.
But here’s the truth: when we start seeing this for what it is—a play for control by exploiting our fear—their power over us diminishes. They only win if we let fear take over, pushing us into silence and doubt. By recognizing this, we can choose a different way forward.
But where does that path lead?
Seeking Like-Valued, Not Like-Minded Connections
It occurred to me that rather than focusing on surrounding ourselves with “like-minded” people who simply affirm our thoughts and opinions, we should seek out “like-valued” people—those who share our core values, such as integrity, curiosity, respect, and empathy.
These people may think differently from us, challenge us, and even disagree with us but still honor the same principles. When we align ourselves with people who share our values, we build relationships rooted in trust and growth. This is where real empowerment begins: by connecting with others who don’t just agree with us but connect with us at the level of our core values.
So, how do we find these “like-valued” people?
Bringing Values to Life: From Words to Action
It all starts with deep self-awareness—getting clear on our own values—not just the surface ones that are easy to acknowledge but rather digging deep and looking honestly at ourselves.
Where do our biases show up? How often do we hear ourselves quietly whispering to ourselves our racist, sexist and biased views (we all have them!). What do we do with them? How do our values show up to tackle these issues?
Do we simply talk about our values, or do we put them into action, especially when it is difficult?
Self-awareness is our guiding light, a filter for understanding others. Seek spaces where people show these values in action, not just words—groups, events, or causes that resonate with what we care about.
Engage in conversations that go beyond the surface and let your values shine through. The key here is intentionality: by leading with our values, we also invite others to show theirs.
When you find those people, nurture those connections. Invest time in honest, reciprocal communication, noticing whether these relationships make you feel seen, accepted, and uplifted—not just agreed with.
Look for people who support and challenge you, celebrate your growth, and hold you accountable. Over time, these “like-valued” relationships don’t just feel supportive; they empower you to stay visible, resilient, and true to yourself.
The Power of Community: Change Happens Together
Together, you create a foundation of courage and authenticity stronger than fear—a place where you can grow bolder, empowered by connections that support your values.
Remember, meaningful, hard-fought change doesn’t happen alone. It happens in a community with others.
Let’s stay connected for the sake of hope!
Related Articles:
How to Manage Election Anxiety and Stay Resilient: Tips for Staying Engaged and Balanced
Why Integrity Matters: How Personal Integrity Can Change the World
Hope is the Breath of Survival
